HELLO. MY NAME IS MARTY DiBERGI.
I'M A FILMMAKER. I MAKE A LOT OF COMMERCIALS.
THAT LITTLE DOG THAT CHASES THE COVERED WAGON UNDERNEATH THE SINK?
THAT WAS MINE.
IN 1966,
I WENT DOWN TO GREENWICH VILLAGE IN NEW YORK CITY...
TO A ROCK CLUB CALLED THE ELECTRIC BANANA.
DON'T LOOK FOR IT. IT'S NOT THERE ANYMORE.
BUT THAT NIGHT, I HEARD A BAND...
THAT, FOR ME, REDEFINED THE WORD "ROCK 'N' ROLL."
I REMEMBER BEING KNOCKED OUT BY THEIR... THEIR EXUBERANCE,
THEIR RAW POWER AND THEIR PUNCTUALITY.
THAT BAND WAS BRITAIN'S NOW LEGENDARY SPINAL TAP.
SEVENTEEN YEARS AND FIFTEEN ALBUMS LATER,
SPINAL TAP IS STILL GOING STRONG,
AND THEY'VE EARNED A DISTINGUISHED PLACE IN ROCK HISTORY...
AS ONE OF ENGLAND'S LOUDEST BANDS.
SO IN THE LATE FALL OF 1982,
WHEN I HEARD THAT TAP WAS RELEASING A NEW ALBUM CALLED SMELL THE GLOVE...
AND WAS PLANNING THEIR FIRST TOUR OF THE UNITED STATES IN ALMOST SIX YEARS...
TO PROMOTE THAT ALBUM,
NEEDLESS TO SAY, I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE...
TO MAKE THE DOCUMENTARY... IF YOU WILL, ROCKUMENTARY...
THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.
I WANTED TO CAPTURE THE SIGHTS, THE SOUNDS, THE SMELLS...
OF A HARD-WORKING ROCK BAND ON THE ROAD.
AND I GOT THAT.
BUT I GOT MORE.
A LOT MORE.
BUT, HEY, ENOUGH OF MY YACKIN'.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? LET'S BOOGIE.
♪♪ [Drums]
GIVES ME A LOT OF ENERGY. MAKES ME HAPPY.
HEAVY METAL'S DEEP. YOU GET STUFF OUT OF IT.
THE WAY THEY DRESS, THE LEATHER.
WHICH ONE IS THIS? IS THIS La GUARDIA?
NO, THIS IS J.F.K. NEW YORK, NEW YORK.
WATCH HIS MOUTH. WATCH HIS MOUTH.
IT'S LIKE YOU'D BECOME ONE WITH THE GUYS IN THE BAND.
[Marty] YEAH. I MEAN, THERE'S NO DIVISION.
YOU JUST...
THE MUSIC JUST UNITES PEOPLE... WITH THE PLAYERS.
COMIN' LIVE, DIRECT FROM HELL... SPINAL TAP!
♪ YOU'RE HOT YOU TAKE ALL WE'VE GOT ♪
♪ NOT A DRY SEAT IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ NEXT DAY WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY ♪
♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT ♪
♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK IT ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪♪
WE ARE SPINAL TAP FROM THE U.K.!
YOU MUST BE THE U.S.A.!
♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD ♪
♪ BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ♪
♪ ME ♪♪
[Cheering]
LET'S, UH, TALK A LITTLE ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE GROUP.
I UNDERSTAND, NIGEL, YOU AND DAVID ORIGINALLY STARTED THE BAND,
UH, BACK IN... WHEN WAS IT, 1964?
BEFORE THAT, WE WERE IN DIFFERENT GROUPS.
I WAS IN A GROUP CALLED THE CREATURES, WHICH WAS A SKIFFLE GROUP.
I WAS IN THE LOVELY LADS, AND THEN WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER...
AND SAID, "MIGHT AS WELL JOIN UP, YOU KNOW."
SO, WE BECAME THE ORIGINALS. RIGHT.
AND, UH, WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR NAME, ACTUALLY.
THERE WAS ANOTHER GROUP IN THE EAST END CALLED THE ORIGINALS,
AND WE HAD TO RENAME OURSELVES.
THE NEW ORIGINALS. YEAH. THE NEW ORIGINALS.
AND THEN THEY BECAME... THE REGULARS.
THEY CHANGED THEIR NAME BACK TO THE REGULARS,
AND WE THOUGHT, "WE COULD GO BACK TO THE ORIGINALS, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT?"
WE BECAME THE THAMES MEN AT THAT POINT.
♪ STOP WASTIN' MY TIME ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED ♪
♪ OR MAYBE YOU DON'T ♪
♪ DO I HAVE TO COME RIGHT FLAT OUT AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING ♪
♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪
♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪♪
YOUR FIRST DRUMMER WAS, UH...
THE PEEPER. JOHN "STUMPY" PEEPS.
YEAH. HE WAS GREAT, GREAT.
TALL, BLOND GEEK WITH GLASSES.
GREAT LOOK. YEAH, GOOD DRUMMER. GOOD DRUMMER.
[Marty] WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? HE DIED.
HE DIED IN A BIZARRE GARDENING ACCIDENT SOME YEARS BACK.
IT WAS REALLY ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
IT WAS, YOU KNOW, THE AUTHORITIES SAID,
"BEST LEAVE IT, YOU KNOW, UNSOLVED, REALLY, YOU KNOW."
AND HE WAS REPLACED BY... STUMPY JOE. ERIC "STUMPY" JOE.
[Marty] AND WHAT HAPPENED TO "STUMPY" JOE?
[Man] WELL, UH, IT'S NOT A VERY PLEASANT STORY.
BUT, UH, HE DIED. HE PASSED ON.
HE CHOKED ON... THE OFFICIAL EXPLANATION...
WAS HE CHOKED ON VOMIT.
AND HE PASSED AWAY. IT WAS ACTUALLY SOMEONE ELSE'S VOMIT.
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO REAL...
THEY CAN'T PROVE WHOSE VOMIT IT WAS.
THEY DON'T HAVE FACILITIES IN SCOTLAND YARD.
THERE'S NO WAY TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH. YOU CAN'T DUST FOR VOMIT.
HERE WE GO.
SOHO, THEY CALL IT. SOHO. SO WHAT?
[Chattering]
HOW ARE YA?
IAN. HI, FELLAS! HOW YOU DOIN'?
COME HERE. I WANT YOU TO MEET EVERYBODY.
BOBBI FLEKMAN. BOBBI FLEKMAN.
WHO'S THAT? BOBBI FLEKMAN.
WHO IS THAT? COME OVER HERE, EVERYBODY.
WITH THE RECORD COMPANY? YES, BOBBI FLEKMAN.
THE HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST. WE KNOW.
YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. HI, HANDSOME. HOW YOU DOIN'?
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I WANT YOU ALL TO MEET SIR DENIS ETON-HOGG.
HE'S THE HEAD OF POLYMER. WE KNOW.
YOU DON'T TALK SO MUCH. JUST SMILE AND LOOK SMART.
DENIS, COME HERE! COME HERE.
I WANT YOU TO MEET SPINAL TAP, OUR GUESTS OF HONOR.
HOW VERY NICE. KIDS, THIS IS SIR DENIS ETON-HOGG.
IT'S A PLEASURE. THIS IS NIGEL.
THANKS A LOT FOR LETTING US...
LET'S GO OVER HERE, AND WE'LL ALL TAKE A PICTURE TOGETHER.
WHERE'S CHRISTINE? WHERE'S MY PHOTOGRAPHER?
COME OVER HERE, HONEY. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? CHRISTINE?
OKAY, RIGHT OVER HERE. GOOD! GOOD!
HE'S NOT INTO NEGRO MUSIC. NO, I DON'T EAT THAT SHIT.
GUYS, YOU LOOK GREAT. I MEAN, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW YOU'RE ALMOST 40.
IF I LOOKED THIS GOOD... FROM THE STAGE TOO... IT'S AMAZING.
DO THE DEAD BIRD. GET THE DWARF CANNOLI. THE LITTLE ONES, OKAY?
I DID THE BIRD. DON'T TALK BACK. MIME IS MONEY. MOVE IT!
NOW, WE HERE AT POLYMER, WE'RE ALL LOOKING FORWARD...
TO A LONG AND... AND FRUITFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH SPINAL TAP.
WE WISH THEM GREAT SUCCESS ON THEIR NORTH AMERICAN TOUR.
AND SO SAY ALL OF US, "TAP INTO AMERICA."
[Cheering, Applause]
[Chauffeur] EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU READING YES, I CAN?
YEAH, HAVE YOU READ IT? YEAH. BY SAMMY DAVIS, JR.?
YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT THE TITLE OF THAT BOOK SHOULD BE?
YES, I CAN... IF FRANK SINATRA SAYS IT'S OKAY.
'CAUSE FRANK CALLS THE SHOTS FOR ALL THOSE GUYS.
DID YOU GET TO THE PART YET WHERE SAMMY'S COMIN' OUT OF THE COPA,
AND IT'S ABOUT 3:00 IN THE MORNING AND, UH, HE SEES FRANK.
FRANK'S WALKIN' DOWN BROADWAY BY HIMSELF.
FUCKIN' LIMEYS.
WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE NOT USED TO THAT WORLD.
YEAH, YEAH. FRANK SINATRA. IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD.
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST PEOPLE LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW,
YOU KNOW, THEY GET ALL THEY WANT, SO THEY DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND,
YOU KNOW, ABOUT A LIFE LIKE FRANK'S.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'VE LOVED AND LOST THE WAY FRANK HAS,
THEN YOU, UH, YOU KNOW WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT.
THE TIMES MAY EVEN DO SOMETHING.
REALLY? THE NEW YORK TIMES. THE NEW YORK TIMES.
A MINOR BUMP WE'VE GOT TO IRON OUT HERE IS WHEN DO WE GET THE ALBUM RELEASED?
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW GOOD THE PRESS IS OR WHAT THE STRINGERS...
WELL, AS I EXPLAINED LAST NIGHT, WE'RE NOT GONNA SATURATE THE NEW YORK MARKET.
NOW, PHILLY NOW. THAT'S A REAL ROCK 'N' ROLL TOWN.
I'VE BEEN ASSURED THAT THE ALBUM WILL BE AVAILABLE...
ALL THROUGH THE PHILADELPHIA METROPOLITAN AREA.
YOU ARE HITTING THAT MARKET, REGARDLESS OF HOW LONG WE'RE IN NEW YORK.
WE'RE CERTAINLY... I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN.
YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE NOT BLAMING YOU.
BUT YOU DON'T FEEL THAT THESE GUYS HAVE AN AFFECT ON AN AUDIENCE?
I MEAN, KIDS GO TO THEIR CONCERT, THEY HAVE A GREAT TIME.
BUT IT'S, UH, IT'S A PASSING THING.
IT'S, UH...
I MEAN, I WOULD NEVER TELL THEM THIS, BUT THIS IS A... THIS IS A FAD.
♪♪ [Rock 'N' Roll]
[Cheering, Applause]
♪ THE BIGGER THE CUSHION ♪ THE SWEETER THE PUSHIN' ♪
♪ THAT'S WHAT I SAID ♪
♪ THE LOOSER THE WAISTBAND THE DEEPER THE QUICKSAND ♪
♪ OR SO I HAVE READ ♪
♪ MY BABY FITS ME LIKE A FLESH TUXEDO ♪
♪ I'D LIKE TO SINK HER WITH MY PINK TORPEDO ♪
♪ BIG BOTTOM ♪
♪ TALK ABOUT BUM CAKES MY GIRL'S GOT 'EM ♪
♪ BIG BOTTOMS DRIVE ME OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ HOW COULD I LEAVE THIS BEHIND ♪
♪ I MET HER ON MONDAY 'TWAS MY LUCKY BUN DAY ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ♪
♪ I LOVE HER EACH WEEKDAY EACH VELVETY CHEEK DAY ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ♪
♪ MY LOVE GUN'S LOADED AND SHE'S IN MY SIGHTS ♪
♪ BIG GAME IS WAITING THERE INSIDE HER TIGHTS ♪
♪ YEAH BIG BOTTOM ♪
♪ BIG BOTTOM ♪
♪ TALK ABOUT MUDFLAPS MY GIRL'S GOT 'EM ♪
♪ BIG BOTTOMS DRIVE ME OUT OF MY MIND ♪
♪ HOW COULD I LEAVE THIS BEHIND ♪♪
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR REVIEWS A LITTLE BIT...
REGARDING INTRAVENOUS de MILO.
"THIS TASTELESS COVER IS A GOOD INDICATION OF THE LACK OF MUSICAL INVENTION WITHIN.
"THE MUSICAL GROWTH RATE OF THIS BAND CANNOT EVEN BE CHARTED.
THEY'RE TREADING WATER IN A SEA OF RETARDED SEXUALITY AND BAD POETRY."
THAT'S NIT-PICKING, ISN'T IT?
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO SPINAL TAP.
"THIS PRETENTIOUS, PONDEROUS COLLECTION OF RELIGIOUS ROCK PSALMS...
"IS ENOUGH TO PROMPT THE QUESTION,
"'WHAT DAY DID THE LORD CREATE SPINAL TAP...
AND COULDN'T HE HAVE RESTED ON THAT DAY TOO?'"
I NEVER HEARD THAT ONE. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
THE REVIEW YOU HAD ON SHARK SANDWICH,
WHICH WAS MERELY A TWO-WORD REVIEW, JUST SAID, "SHIT SANDWICH."
UM... WHERE'D THEY PRINT THAT? WHERE'D THEY PRINT THAT?
THAT'S NOT REAL. YOU CAN'T PRINT THAT.
[Ian] ALL THOSE ARGUMENTS ABOUT TOURING AND NOT TOURING AND ALL THAT.
I MEAN, IT'S OBVIOUS WE BELONG ON TOUR, YOU KNOW?
I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
[Man] ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT YOU BEING TOO OLD AND BEING TOO WHITE.
WHAT ABOUT THE ALBUM, IAN?
THAT'S THE REAL PROBLEM. IT'S BEGINNING TO BE A REFRAIN.
THERE'S NO WAY TO PROMOTE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST.
THAT'S A VERY UNIMPORTANT REASON.
IT'S JUST THAT THEY'RE JUST EXPERIMENTING WITH, UH,
WITH SOME NEW, UH, PACKAGING MATERIALS.
[Knocking] LET ME GET THE DOOR.
DO THEY HAVE MONKEYS OPENING IT? OH, THERE'S...
THE OTHER THING IS THAT THE BOSTON GIG HAS BEEN CANCELED.
YEAH. I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S NOT A BIG COLLEGE TOWN.
[Chattering]
HEY, I HEARD YOU BOYS. YOU GOT AN ALBUM COMING OUT OR ANYTHING?
[David] SMELL THE GLOVE. IT SHOULD BE OUT...
SMELL THE GLOVE. SMELL THE GLOVE. YEAH. YEAH.
- IT'S A PROVOCATIVE TITLE. - WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE COVER.
VERY PROVOCATIVE, INDEED.
[Ian] BOBBI, CAN I TEAR YOU AWAY FOR A MOMENT?
DO YOU HAVE A DRINK? I DON'T REALLY NEED ONE.
BUT, UM, LISTEN.
I REALLY DO HAVE TO TALK TO YOU A BIT ABOUT THIS...
IAN, JUST TELL ME WHATEVER'S ON YOUR MIND.
THE ISSUE OF THE COVER. YEAH.
WE, UH, I MEAN, WE FEEL, AND IT SEEMS TO BE FACTS,
THAT, UH, THE COMPANY'S RATHER DOWN ON THE COVER, IS THAT THE CASE?
YES. YOU CAN GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
LISTEN. THEY DON'T LIKE THE COVER.
WELL, THAT'S CERTAINLY STRAIGHT.
THEY FIND IT VERY OFFENSIVE AND VERY SEXIST.
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU FIND OFFENSIVE?
IAN, YOU PUT A GREASED NAKED WOMAN ON ALL FOURS...
WITH A DOG COLLAR AROUND HER NECK AND A LEASH...
AND A MAN'S ARM EXTENDED OUT UP TO HERE...
HOLDING ONTO THE LEASH AND PUSHING A BLACK GLOVE IN HER FACE TO SNIFF IT.
YOU DON'T FIND THAT OFFENSIVE? YOU DON'T FIND THAT SEXIST?
THIS IS 1982! THAT'S RIGHT. IT'S 1982.
GET OUT OF THE '60s. WE DON'T HAVE THIS MENTALITY ANYMORE.
WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE COVER THEY WANTED TO DO. I DON'T CARE.
IT WASN'T A GLOVE, BELIEVE ME. THIS IS SOMETHING...
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR BOYS ABOUT.
WE'RE NOT LAYING DOWN ANY CONDITIONS. I DON'T THINK A SEXY COVER...
IS THE ANSWER FOR WHY AN ALBUM SELLS OR DOESN'T SELL.
BECAUSE YOU TELL ME... THE WHITE ALBUM? WHAT WAS THAT?
THERE WAS NOTHING ON THAT GODDAMN COVER.
[Phone Ringing] EXCUSE ME. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS AFTER.
HELLO. OH, HI, DENIS.
UH-OH. OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM?
OKAY, HOLD ON ONE MINUTE. IAN, IT'S ETON-HOGG. HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
OKAY. THANK YOU, DARLING. YOU'RE WELCOME, DEAR.
HELLO, SIR DENIS.
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
OH.
FUCKIN' POOFTER.
BUT... BUT IT'S REALLY NOT THAT OFFENSIVE, SIR DENIS, COME ON.
OKAY. I'LL CALL YOU ABSOLUTELY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
OH, SHIT. THEY'RE NOT GOING TO RELEASE THE ALBUM...
BECAUSE THEY HAVE DECIDED THAT THE COVER IS SEXIST.
SO WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING SEXY?
I MEAN, THERE'S NO... SEXIST!
OKAY, LISTEN. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THIS,
AND I WAS HOLDING BACK BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT DENIS' DECISION WAS GOING TO BE.
BUT AT THIS POINT, BOTH SEARS AND KMART STORES...
HAVE REFUSED TO HANDLE THE ALBUM.
THAT OLD ONE, HUH? THEY'RE BOYCOTTING THE ALBUM ONLY BECAUSE OF THE COVER.
IF A COMPANY'S BEHIND AN ALBUM, IT CAN SHOVE IT RIGHT DOWN THEIR THROATS.
MONEY TALKS AND BULLSHIT WALKS.
AND IF THE FIRST ALBUM WAS A HIT, THEN WE COULD HAVE PRESSED ON THEM,
THEN WE COULD HAVE TOLD THEM, "YES, LET'S..."
EVERY CUT ON THIS ALBUM... I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT THE ALBUM SAYS.
IT WAS A JOKE. A LONG TIME AGO.
NOW THEY'RE MAKING IT LIKE A BIG DEAL.
IF WE WERE SERIOUS AND SAID SHE SHOULD BE FORCED TO SMELL THE GLOVE,
THEN YOU'D HAVE A POINT, BUT IT'S ALL A JOKE, ISN'T IT?
WE'RE MAKING FUN OF THAT SORT OF THING. IT IS AND ISN'T.
SHE SHOULD BE MADE TO SMELL IT, BUT... NOT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
THE THING IS WE CAN PROBABLY WORK SOMETHING OUT.
I'LL TALK TO DENIS AND MAYBE WE CAN COME UP WITH A COMPROMISE...
AND A NEW DESIGN CONCEPT THAT WE CAN ALL LIVE WITH.
YOU GUYS WERE SCHOOLMATES?
WE... WE DON'T... WE'RE NOT UNIVERSITY MATERIAL.
WHAT'S ON YOUR FINGER? IT'S MY GUM.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH IT ON YOUR FINGER? I MIGHT NEED IT LATER.
PUT IT ON THE TABLE. THAT'S TERRIBLE.
NO. I MIGHT FORGET IT ON THE TABLE.
HOW OLD WERE YOU GUYS WHEN YOU MET? CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYWHERE.
EIGHT YEARS OLD. EIGHT OR NINE.
YOU WERE EIGHT, AND I WAS SEVEN.
THAT'S RIGHT, ISN'T IT?
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST SONG YOU GUYS EVER WROTE TOGETHER?
"ALL THE WAY HOME," PROBABLY.
"ALL THE WAY HOME"? YEAH.
CAN YOU REMEMBER A LITTLE BIT OF IT? I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT.
CHRIST. SOME BLACK COFFEE, MAYBE WE COULD DO IT.
HOW'S IT GO? ♪♪ [Humming]
♪ BESIDE THE RAILROAD TRAIN ♪
♪ AND I'M WAITIN' FOR THAT TRAIN TO BRING YOU BACK ♪
♪ BRING YOU BACK ♪ ♪♪ [Humming]
IF SHE'S... ♪ IF SHE'S NOT ON THE 5:19 ♪
♪ THEN I'M GONNA KNOW WHAT SORROW MEANS ♪
♪ AND I'M GONNA CRY, CRY, CRY ALL THE WAY HOME ♪
♪ ALL THE WAY HOME ♪ ♪ ALL THE WAY HOME ♪
♪ ALL THE WAY HOME ALL THE WAY HOME ♪♪
[Coughs] CRY, CRY ALL THE WAY HOME.
CRY, CRY, CRY ALL THE WAY HOME.
THERE WERE ABOUT SIX WORDS IN THE WHOLE SONG.
WE'RE JUST REPEATIN' THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR MUSIC TODAY.
ONE THING THAT PUZZLES ME, UM, IS THE MAKEUP OF YOUR AUDIENCE.
IT SEEMS TO BE PREDOMINANTLY YOUNG BOYS.
WELL, IT'S A SEXUAL THING, REALLY.
ASIDE FROM THE IDENTIFYING THAT THE BOYS DO WITH US,
THERE'S ALSO, LIKE, A REACTION TO THE FEMALE... OF THE FEMALE TO OUR MUSIC.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? REALLY, THEY'RE QUITE FEARFUL.
THAT'S MY THEORY. THEY SEE US ON THE STAGE WITH TIGHT TROUSERS.
WE'VE GOT, YOU KNOW, ARMADILLOS IN OUR TROUSERS.
I MEAN, IT'S REALLY QUITE FRIGHTENING, THE SIZE,
AND... AND THEY RUN SCREAMING...
[Murmuring]
[Nigel] IAN, CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE?
YES, OF COURSE. WHAT?
THERE ARE A COUPLE OF PROBLEMS WITH THE ARRANGEMENTS BACKSTAGE.
WHAT EXACTLY?
WELL, NO, I MEAN, THERE ARE SOME PROBLEMS HERE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.
SOUND CHECK? WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO. THIS. LOOK.
THERE'S A REAL PROBLEM WITH... LOOK. THIS.
THIS MINIATURE BREAD. IT'S... I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH THIS FOR ABOUT HALF AN HOUR.
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT... LET'S SAY I WANT A BITE, RIGHT?
YOU GOT THIS. YOU'D LIKE BIGGER BREAD?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND... YOU COULD FOLD THIS, THOUGH.
WELL, NO, THEN IT'S HALF THE SIZE. NOT THE BREAD.
YOU FOLD THE MEAT. THEN IT BREAKS APART LIKE THIS.
NO, YOU PUT IT ON THE BREAD LIKE THIS.
BUT IF YOU KEEP FOLDING IT, IT KEEPS BREAKING. WHY KEEP FOLDING IT?
EVERYTHING HAS TO BE FOLDED, AND THEN IT'S THIS, AND I DON'T WANT THIS.
I WANT LARGE BREAD, SO THEN I CAN PUT THIS... RIGHT.
SO THEN IT'S LIKE THIS, BUT THIS DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE IT'S ALL...
BECAUSE IT HANGS OUT LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU BE HOLDING THIS?
I WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH. ALL RIGHT, EXHIBIT "A."
THEN WE MOVE ON TO THIS. LOOK.
WHO'S IN HERE? NO ONE. THEN IN HERE, THERE'S A LITTLE GUY.
SO, IT'S A COMPLETE CATASTROPHE.
NIGEL, YOU'RE RIGHT. CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL. IT'S A JOKE. I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST SOME CRAPPY UNIVERSITY, YOU KNOW. IT'S A JOKE.
I DON'T WANT IT TO AFFECT YOUR PERFORMANCE.
IT'S NOT GOING TO AFFECT MY PERFORMANCE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I JUST HATE IT. IT DOES DISTURB ME. IT'S DISGUSTING.
BUT I'LL RISE ABOVE IT. I'M A PROFESSIONAL.
♪♪ [Rock 'N' Roll]
♪ IT'S LITERALLY A HELLHOLE ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STAND IN A HELLHOLE ♪
♪ FOLKS LEND A HAND IN A HELLHOLE ♪
♪ GIRL, GET ME BACK TO MY HELLHOLE ♪♪
[Cheering, Applause]
[Man] DO STONEHENGE!
DO YOU PLAY... I MEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY PLAY ALL THESE?
I PLAY THEM, AND I CHERISH THEM.
THIS IS THE TOP OF THE HEAP RIGHT HERE.
THERE'S NO QUESTION. LOOK AT THE FLAME ON THAT ONE.
YES. IT'S QUITE UNBELIEVABLE.
THIS ONE IS JUST, UH, IT'S PERFECT, 1959.
YOU KNOW, JUST LISTEN.
HOW MUCH... JUST LISTEN FOR A MINUTE.
IT'S SUSTAINED. LISTEN TO IT.
I'M NOT HEARING ANYTHING.
YOU WOULD, THOUGH, IF IT WERE PLAYING,
BECAUSE IT'S FAMOUS FOR ITS SUSTAIN.
I MEAN, YOU CAN JUST HOLD IT... SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO...
♪ AHH ♪
YOU CAN GO AND HAVE A BITE.
♪ AHH ♪ YOU'D STILL BE HEARING THAT ONE.
HOLD THIS A SEC. SURE.
THIS ONE, OF COURSE, IS A CUSTOM THREE PICKUP.
THIS IS MY RADIO UNIT. OH, I SEE.
SO I STRAP THIS PIECE ON RIGHT DOWN IN HERE WHEN I'M ONSTAGE.
IT'S A WIRELESS. WIRELESS. EXACTLY.
I CAN PLAY WITHOUT ALL THE MUCKY MUCK.
YOU CAN RUN ANYWHERE ONSTAGE WITH THAT.
THIS IS SPECIAL TOO. LOOK. SEE?
IT'S STILL GOT THE OLD TAGGER ON IT.
YOU SEE, I NEVER EVEN PLAYED IT.
YOU JUST BOUGHT IT? DON'T TOUCH IT.
I WASN'T GOING TO TOUCH IT. DON'T TOUCH IT.
I WAS JUST POINTING AT IT. DON'T POINT.
DON'T EVEN POINT? NO. IT CAN'T BE PLAYED. NEVER.
CAN I LOOK AT IT? DON'T LOOK AT IT. NO.
THIS IS A TOP TO, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE USE ON STAGE,
BUT IT'S VERY, VERY SPECIAL BECAUSE, IF YOU CAN SEE,
THE NUMBERS ALL GO TO 11.
LOOK. RIGHT ACROSS THE BOARD. ELEVEN, ELEVEN, ELEVEN.
AND MOST OF THESE AMPS GO UP TO TEN. EXACTLY.
DOES THAT MEAN IT'S LOUDER?
WELL, IT'S ONE LOUDER, ISN'T IT?
IT'S NOT TEN. YOU SEE, MOST BLOKES ARE GONNA BE PLAYING AT TEN.
WE'RE ON TEN HERE. ALL THE WAY UP. ALL THE WAY UP.
YOU'RE ON TEN ON YOUR GUITAR. WHERE CAN YOU GO FROM THERE?
WHERE? NOWHERE. EXACTLY. I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT WE DO IS IF WE NEED THAT EXTRA PUSH OVER THE CLIFF,
YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO? PUT IT UP TO 11.
ELEVEN. EXACTLY. ONE LOUDER.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE TEN LOUDER, MAKE TEN BE THE TOP NUMBER,
AND MAKE THAT A LITTLE LOUDER?
THESE GO TO 11.
ARE YOU SPINAL TAP?
THIS IS SPINAL TAP. WELCOME TO MEMPHIS, GENTLEMEN.
WE HAVE A SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH YOUR RESERVATION.
NOTHING SERIOUS. HOW SLIGHT?
YOU WANTED SEVEN SUITES. SEVEN SUITES.
YES. WE MISTAKENLY PUT YOU ON THE SEVENTH FLOOR WITH ONE SUITE.
THAT'S CONSIDERABLY MORE THAN MINOR.
BUT IT'S A GOOD-SIZED ROOM, SIR. IT'S A KING LEISURE.
HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET 14 PEOPLE IN A KING LEISURE BED?
DON'T TEMPT ME, SIR. HAVE A GOOD TIME.
- I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. - WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
VERY ATTRACTIVE THEY ARE TOO. LISTEN TO ME.
WE WANT THESE SUITES NOW. THESE PEOPLE ARE TIRED. WE HAVE A SOUND CHECK IN AN HOUR.
RIVA, PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP ME. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG. THIS TWISTED OLD FRUIT HERE...
TELLS ME YOU HAVE NOT GOT MY RESERVATIONS. I'M JUST AS GOD MADE ME, SIR.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOLF AND MINIATURE GOLF?
THE BALLS? [Woman Screams]
UH-OH, LOOK OUT. HERE THEY COME.
DUKE! DUKE!
CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
DUKE. YES, WE KNOW. IT'S SPINAL TAP.
DAVID ST. HUBBINS, SPINAL TAP.
HOW'S IT GOING? DEREK SMALLS.
WE GOTTA GET GOING. WHERE YOU PLAYIN'? ARE YOU PLAYIN' HERE?
WE'RE DOIN' THE ENORMO DOME. WHATEVER IT IS.
IT'S A GOOD HOUSE. WE SOLD IT OUT.
BIG PLACE. YOU SOLD OUT!
WE REALLY SHOULD RUN.
GOOD HEAVENS. HOW ARE YOU, LARRY? GREAT TO SEE YOU.
LIAM. IAN.
WE'D LOVE TO STAND AROUND AND CHAT, BUT WE GOTTA SIT DOWN IN THE LOBBY...
AND WAIT FOR THE LIMO, OKAY, BOYS?
[All Talking At Once]
YEAH, BEST OF LUCK. CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.
GREAT. GREAT TO SEE YOU.
GOOD DAY. JERK. FUCKIN' WANKER.
WHAT A WANKER. HE'S GOT THIS MUCH TALENT.
HE'S GOT THIS MUCH IF HE'S LUCKY.
WE HAD TO APOLOGIZE FOR HIM WITH OUR SET.
PEOPLE WERE BOOIN' HIM WHEN WE WERE ON THE ROAD.
IT'S ALL HYPE.
YEP, WE GOT OUR ROOMS. BIG FAT SUITES.
HAVE YOU SEEN DUKE FAME'S CURRENT ALBUM?
UM, YES. YOU'VE SEEN THE COVER?
UH, NO. NO, I DON'T THINK I HAVE.
WELL, IT'S A RATHER LURID COVER.
IT'S LIKE NAKED WOMEN AND...
HE'S TIED DOWN TO THIS TABLE, UH-HUH.
AND HE'S GOT WHIPS, AND THEY'RE ALL SEMINUDE.
KNOCKIN' ON 'EM. WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
MY POINT IS IT'S MUCH WORSE THAN SMELL THE GLOVE.
HE RELEASES THAT, AND HE'S NUMBER THREE.
BECAUSE HE'S THE VICTIM. THEIR OBJECTIONS WERE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM.
OH. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
IF THE SINGER'S THE VICTIM, IT'S NOT SEXIST.
THEY DID A TWIST ON IT. WE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.
WE WERE SO CLOSE. IF WE HAD ALL YOU GUYS TIED UP, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE.
IT'S SUCH A FINE LINE BETWEEN STUPID AND CLEVER.
IT'S JUST THAT LITTLE TURNABOUT.
I HAVE A SMALL PIECE OF BAD NEWS.
ALTHOUGH, IT MAY NOT BE THAT BAD. FOR A CHANGE.
WE'RE CANCELED HERE.
AT THE HOTEL? NO, WE'RE CANCELED. THE GIG IS CANCELED.
FUCK!
IT SAYS, "MEMPHIS SHOW CANCELED DUE TO LACK OF ADVERTISING FUNDS."
THE LAST TIME TAP TOURED AMERICA,
THEY WERE, UH, BOOKED INTO 10,000-SEAT ARENAS...
AND 15,000-SEAT VENUES.
AND IT SEEMS THAT NOW ON THE CURRENT TOUR,
THEY'RE BEING BOOKED INTO 1,200-SEAT ARENAS, 1,500-SEAT ARENAS.
AND I WAS JUST WONDERING, DOES THIS MEAN THE POPULARITY OF THE GROUP IS WANING?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NOT AT ALL.
I-I JUST THINK THAT THEIR APPEAL IS BECOMING MORE SELECTIVE.
NOW, I NOTICE YOU GOT THIS CRICKET BAT HERE. YES.
DO YOU PLAY? NO. I CARRY THIS PARTLY OUT OF...
SORT OF... I DON'T KNOW.
I SUPPOSE, WHAT'S THE WORD? AFFECTATION?
YES, I MEAN, IT'S A KIND OF TOTEMISTIC THING, YOU KNOW,
BUT TO BE FRANK WITH YOU,
IT'S COME IN USEFUL IN A COUPLE OF SITUATIONS.
CERTAINLY IN THE TOPSY-TURVY WORLD OF HEAVY ROCK,
HAVING A GOOD SOLID PIECE OF WOOD IN YOUR HAND IS QUITE OFTEN USEFUL.
I MISS YOU TOO, DARLING.
UM, NOT TOO WELL, ACTUALLY.
WE'VE GOT SOME CANCELLATIONS.
WE GOT TO MEMPHIS, AND THERE'S NO GIG.
AND WE FIND OUT THIS PROMOTER,
UH, HAS PULLED OUT OF ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY...
AND, UM, OH, DES MOINES.
I DON'T KNOW. HE'S IN INDIANA OR SOMETHING.
[Continues, Indistinct]
OH, DON'T TEASE ME. THAT'S NOT UNTIL APRIL.
GREAT! WE'LL DO IT.
OH, GO... FUCKIN' GREAT.
MILWAUKEE. MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE A PLANE TO NEW YORK AND THEN GO TO MILWAUKEE.
OH, GOOD. I LOVE YOU TOO.
OKAY. BYE.
[Sighs]
MY PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED. WHO WAS THAT?
JEANINE. SHE'S GONNA COME MEET US.
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THIS WINDOW LAYOUT FOR NEIL KAYET'S BOUTIQUE,
BUT IT'S NOT TILL APRIL.
IS SHE COMING TO DROP SOME STUFF OFF?
SHE'S COMING ON THE ROAD. SHE'S GONNA TRAVEL WITH US.
SHE SAID THAT SHE CAN HEAR I'M EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR ON THE PHONE.
SHE SAYS MY LARYNX IS FAT.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO COME NEXT DOOR. THE RADIO'S PLAYING A BIT OF YOUR PAST.
[Laughing, Muttering, Indistinct]
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! ♪♪ [Radio, Indistinct]
[Chattering]
[Radio Announcer] OH, YEAH. GOIN' ALL THE WAY BACK TO 1965.
DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD WITH THE THAMES MEN AND "CUPS AND CAKES"?
THE THAMES MEN LATER CHANGED THEIR NAME TO SPINAL TAP.
THEY HAD A COUPLE OF NICE-SIZED HITS.
THEY'RE CURRENTLY RESIDING IN THE "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?" FILE.
JOHNNY Q WITH YOU ON GOLDEN 106, AND RIGHT AFTER WE...
[Radio Off] [Derek] FUCK YOU.
[David] I'M NOT REALLY SURE THIS WAS SUCH A GREAT IDEA.
I MEAN, I DON'T FEEL ANY BETTER THAN I DID AT THE HOTEL.
HE WAS GOING TO DO A TV SPECIAL FROM HERE BEFORE HE DIED.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. MUSICAL VERSION OF "SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME."
♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪
♪ I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪
♪ IT'S DOWN AT THE END OF LONELY STREET ♪
♪ THAT HEARTBREAK HOTEL ♪
DO IT WITH THE HARMONY PARTS. ALL RIGHT.
♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY ♪
IN THE SAME KEY, THOUGH, I THINK.
♪ WELL, SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪
IF I'M GOING... ♪ SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪
♪ ME ♪
NO, YOU CAN'T HIT THAT NOTE.
♪ SINCE MY... SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪
♪ WELL, I FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL ♪
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. NOT REALLY. IT SOUNDS RAGA.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO RAGA. NOT WITH THIS, YOU DON'T.
♪ SINCE MY BABY LEFT ME ♪♪ IT SOUNDS FUCKING BARBERSHOP.
BARBERSHOP RAGA. WATCH THE LANGUAGE.
WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE KING. SORRY.
[Sighs] THIS IS THOROUGHLY DEPRESSING.
IT REALLY PUTS A PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS, THOUGH, DOESN'T IT?
YEAH, TOO MUCH. THERE'S TOO MUCH FUCKING PERSPECTIVE NOW.
IN 1967, YOU... THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME SPINAL TAP CAME INTO EXISTENCE.
THE WHOLE WORLD WAS CHANGING IN THOSE DAYS.
AND WE HAD THE WORLD'S EAR BECAUSE WE HAD JUST RELEASED...
AN ENORMOUS-SELLING SINGLE.
"LISTEN TO THE FLOWER PEOPLE. "FLOWER PEOPLE."
WE TOURED THE WORLD. WE TOURED THE STATES.
TOURED THE WORLD AND ELSEWHERE. IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE.
♪ LISTEN TO WHAT THE FLOWER PEOPLE SAY ♪
♪ AHH ♪
♪ LISTEN IT'S GETTING LOUDER EVERY DAY ♪
♪ LISTEN IT'S LIKE A BOLT OUT OF THE BLUE ♪
♪ AHH ♪
♪ LISTEN IT COULD BE CALLING OUT FOR YOU ♪♪
[Inaudible]
[Marty] DURING THE FLOWER PEOPLE PERIOD, WHO WAS YOUR DRUMMER?
STUMPY'S REPLACEMENT, PETER JAMES BOND.
HE ALSO DIED IN MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.
WE WERE PLAYING A, UH, JAZZ BLUES FESTIVAL. FESTIVAL.
WHERE WAS THAT? A BLUES JAZZ, REALLY.
BLUES JAZZ FESTIVAL. THAT WAS IN THE ISLE...
ISLE OF LUCY. THE ISLE OF LUCY JAZZ AND BLUES FESTIVAL.
AND, UH, IT WAS TRAGIC, REALLY. HE EXPLODED ONSTAGE.
JUST LIKE THAT. [David] HE JUST WENT UP.
HE JUST WAS LIKE A FLASH OF GREEN LIGHT AND THAT WAS IT.
NOTHING WAS LEFT. LOOK AT HIS FACE.
THIS REALLY DID HAPPEN.
THERE WAS A LITTLE GREEN GLOBULE ON HIS DRUM SEAT.
LIKE A STAIN, REALLY. MORE OF A STAIN THAN A GLOBULE.
YOU KNOW, SEVERAL... DOZENS OF PEOPLE...
SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST EACH YEAR.
IT'S JUST NOT REALLY WIDELY REPORTED.
TESTING.
TEST, TEST, TEST. THIS IS MIKE NUMBER ONE.
THIS IS MIKE NUMBER ONE. ISN'T THIS A LOT OF FUN?
TWO. TWO. OKAY, HE'S GOT THE MIKES.
LET'S DO G.S.M., ALL RIGHT? G.S.M.
♪ STOP WASTIN' MY TIME ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪
♪ HEAVY UP YOU KNOW WHAT I N-N-NEED ♪
♪ OR MAYBE YOU DON'T ♪
♪ OR DO I HAVE TO COME RIGHT SMACK DAB OUT AND TELL YOU EVERYTHING ♪
♪ GIMME SOME MONEY ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪♪
[Woman Over P.A.] HELLO, DARLING.
HELLO. I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM? WHERE'D YOU THINK I CAME FROM?
THE BLOODY AIRPLANE, DIDN'T I?
OH, THAT FEELS GOOD.
OH, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR A LONG TIME.
WANT ME TO CARRY IT DOWN WITH ME? WHAT'S THIS?
THAT'S THE FILM CREW. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS. THAT'S THE FILM CREW.
MARTIN, THIS IS JEANINE. HELLO.
HERE IT IS, LADS. VISITORS' DAY, ISN'T IT?
GATHER AROUND. WHERE'S DAVID?
DAVID. DAVID, GET UP HERE.
DAVID, SMELL THE GLOVE IS HERE. HELLO, JEANINE.
IT'S THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. HERE WE GO.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY. PLENTY FOR EVERYBODY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? IS THIS THE TEST PRESSING?
NO, THIS IS IT.
THIS IS SMELL THE GLOVE BY SPINAL TAP? THAT'S SMELL THE GLOVE.
THAT'S THE JACKET COVER THAT'S GOING OUT ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
THIS IS THE COMPROMISED WAY.
IS IT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING HERE?
IT'S NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING.
IT'S GONNA BE ALL BLACK. THAT SIMPLE, BEAUTIFUL, CLASSIC.
IT DOES LOOK LIKE BLACK LEATHER.
YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF IN BOTH SIDES.
IT'S LIKE A BLACK MIRROR.
IT LOOKS LIKE DEATH. IT LOOKS LIKE MOURNING.
EVERY MOVIE AND CINEMA IS ABOUT DEATH. DEATH SELLS.
I THINK HE'S RIGHT. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS SO BLACK,
IT'S LIKE, HOW MUCH MORE BLACK COULD THIS BE?
AND THE ANSWER IS, "NONE." IS THAT GOOD?
YOU'RE RATIONALIZING THIS WHOLE THING...
LIKE IT'S SOMETHING YOU DID ON PURPOSE.
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE'RE STUCK WITH A VERY STUPID AND DISMAL-LOOKING ALBUM.
THIS IS DEPRESSING. THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WEAR AROUND YOUR ARM.
YOU DON'T PUT THIS ON YOUR FUCKING TURNTABLE. DAVID, IT'S A CHOICE.
THIS IS THE TURNING POINT, OKAY?
I THINK THIS IS... WE'RE ON OUR WAY NOW.
IT'S TIME... IT'S TIME TO KICK ASS.
♪♪ [Guitar]
♪ WHEN THERE WAS DARKNESS AND THE VOID WAS KING ♪
♪ AND RULED THE ELEMENTS ♪
♪ WHEN THERE WAS SILENCE AND THE HUSH ♪
♪ WAS ALMOST DEAFENING ♪
♪ OUT OF THE EMPTINESS ♪
♪ SALVATION ♪ ♪ SALVATION ♪
♪ THE RHYTHM AND LIGHT AND SOUND ♪
♪ 'TWAS THE ROCK 'N' ROLL CREATION ♪
♪ 'TWAS A TERRIBLE BIG BANG ♪
♪ 'TWAS THE ULTIMATE MUTATION ♪
♪ YIN WAS SEARCHING FOR HIS YANG ♪
♪ AND THEY LOOKED AND THEY SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD ♪
[Laughing]
♪ I LOOK TO THE STARS AND THE ANSWER IS CLEAR ♪
♪ I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT I FEAR ♪
♪ 'TIS THE ROCK 'N' ROLL CREATION ♪
♪ 'TIS THE ABSOLUTE REBIRTH ♪
♪ 'TIS THE ROLLING OF THE OCEAN ♪
♪ AND THE ROCKING OF THE EARTH ♪
♪ AND I LOOKED AND I SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD ♪♪
GIVEN THE HISTORY OF SPINAL TAP DRUMMERS...
IN THE PAST, DO YOU HAVE ANY FEARS, UH, FOR YOUR LIFE?
WHEN I DID JOIN, THEY DID TELL ME.
THEY KIND OF TOOK ME ASIDE AND SAID, "WELL, MICK, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THIS."
AND IT DID KIND OF FREAK ME OUT,
BUT IT CAN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN TO EVERY, CAN IT?
RIGHT. THE LAW OF AVERAGES SAYS YOU WILL SURVIVE. YEAH.
WHOA. QUITE EXCITING.
QUITE EXCITING, THIS COMPUTER MAGIC.
[Ian] HOW MANY PLANETS HAVE YOU DESTROYED, VIV?
ABOUT FOURTH OR FIFTH TIME AROUND, I THINK.
WE'RE DOING, REALLY, FIVE GALAXIES GOING.
THIS IS CINDY'S FIRST MUSTACHE.
[Ian] IS IT?
CAN I TAKE IT OFF NOW? WHY, ARE YOU TOO HOT IN IT?
NO, IT'S, UM, I THOUGHT I MIGHT GO BACK AND SEE WHAT THEY WERE UP TO.
I DON'T THINK THEY NEED TO SEE THIS UNTIL YOU'RE FINISHED WITH IT, YOU KNOW.
YOU WERE READING. YOU CAN READ HERE.
YEAH, BUT THEY GOT THE NEW GAME BACK THERE.
I THOUGHT... I THOUGHT I'D HAVE A LOOK AT THE NEW GAME.
IT'S LIKE A SUBMARINE THING.
YOU'VE GOT ALL STUFF OVER YOU AGAIN.
[David] BEFORE I MET JEANINE, MY LIFE WAS COSMICALLY A SHAMBLES.
IT WAS, UH, I WAS USING BITS AND PIECES OF WHATEVER EASTERN PHILOSOPHIES...
HAPPENED TO DRIFT THROUGH MY TRANSOM.
AND, UH, SHE SORT OF SORTED IT OUT FOR ME,
STRAIGHTENED IT OUT FOR ME, GAVE ME A PATH, YOU KNOW, A PATH TO FOLLOW.
[Marty] I WONDER IF YOU HAVE AS MUCH INFLUENCE...
OVER HIS MUSICAL EXPRESSION. OH, YEAH.
I MEAN, I LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE'S EXPERIMENTING, DON'T I?
HE'S, UH, HE PLAYS THINGS TO ME SOMETIMES WHEN HE'S WORKED OUT...
HE'S GOT A NEW BIT HE WANTS TO TELL ME ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, AND I SAY THAT'S GOOD OR BAD OR SHIT OR WHATEVER.
[David Laughs] YES, SHE'S VERY HONEST. SHE'S BRUTALLY FRANK.
HOW DOES THAT GO OVER WITH THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS?
I MEAN, YOU... SHE GIVES ME THE BRUTALLY FRANK VERSION,
AND I SORT OF TART IT UP FOR THEM.
OF COURSE, IT'S STRANGE BECAUSE NIGEL...
AND JEANINE ARE SIMILAR IN MANY WAYS, BUT THEY JUST CAN'T...
THEY DON'T DISLIKE EACH OTHER.
THERE'S GREAT LOVE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM. NO. OH, YES.
BUT THERE'S SOME SORT OF COMMUNICATION THAT'S JUST BLOCKED OR SOMETHING.
IT'S PRETTY. YEAH, I LIKE IT.
JUST BEEN FOOLIN' ABOUT WITH IT FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW.
VERY DELICATE.
IT'S A BIT OF A DEPARTURE FROM THE KIND OF THING YOU'D NORMALLY PLAY.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S PART OF A TRILOGY, REALLY.
A MUSICAL TRILOGY THAT I'M DOING...
IN "D" MINOR, WHICH I ALWAYS FIND IS THE SADDEST OF ALL KEYS.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT IT MAKES PEOPLE WEEP INSTANTLY WHEN YOU PLAY IT.
♪♪ [Singing]
IT'S A HORN PART.
IT'S VERY PRETTY.
♪ BA ♪ YEAH, JUST SIMPLE LINES INTERTWINING.
YOU KNOW, VERY MUCH, LIKE, I'M REALLY INFLUENCED BY MOZART AND BACH.
IT'S SORT OF IN BETWEEN THOSE, SORT OF A "MACH" PIECE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?
THIS PIECE IS CALLED "LICK MY LOVE PUMP."
[Man On P.A.] MIDWEST AIRLINES, FLIGHT 406...
[Beeping] DO YOU HAVE ANY METAL OBJECTS?
YEAH. TAKE THEM OUT AND PUT THEM IN THE BUCKET.
COINS. KEYS.
TUNING FORK.
MUSICIAN. I HAVE TO STAY IN TUNE, YOU KNOW.
[Beeping]
OH. OKAY. COULD YOU TAKE THIS JACKET OFF?
OH, IT'S THE ZIPPER. SET OFF THE MACHINE.
[David] LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
[Beeping] STEP OVER HERE, PLEASE.
RAISE YOUR ARMS.
[Beeping]
DO YOU HAVE ANY ARTIFICIAL PLATES OR LIMBS?
- NOT REALLY, NO. - UM, WOULD YOU, UH...
[Mick] DO IT!
♪♪ [Rock 'N' Roll]
♪ I DON'T NEED A WOMAN ♪
♪ I WON'T TAKE ME NO WIFE ♪
♪ I GOT THE ROCK 'N' ROLL AND THAT'LL BE MY LIFE ♪
♪ NO PAGE IN HISTORY, BABY THAT I DON'T NEED ♪
♪ I JUST WANNA MAKE SOME EARDRUMS BLEED ♪
♪ HEAVY DUTY ♪
♪ HEAVY DUTY ROCK 'N' ROLL ♪
♪ HEAVY DUTY ♪
♪ BRINGS OUT THE DUTY IN MY SOUL ♪♪
HI. ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS. HOW ARE YOU?
HOW YOU DOING? YOU ARE... DEREK. DEREK.
ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.
I'M YOUR PROMO MAN HERE IN CHICAGO. I LOVE YOU GUYS.
AND, OF COURSE, NIGEL. I LOVE YOU. NIGEL TUFNEL.
RIGHT. I LOVE YOUR STUFF. I GO BACK WITH YOU GUYS.
ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS. RIGHT.
I LOVE YOU. WHO ARE YOU, DARLING?
THIS IS MY SPECIAL NEW FRIEND, CINDY.
HELLO, CINDY. AND THIS IS BELINDA.
HELLO, BELINDA. ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.
AND I... OH, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
HI. HI, GUYS. ARTIE FUFKIN, POLYMER RECORDS.
NICE TO SEE YOU. AND WHERE IS DAVID?
[Knocking] DAVID, HI. ARTIE FUFKIN.
HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.
WE'VE GOT SOMETHING EXCITING HAPPENING TOMORROW.
OH, IT'S THE FOOD. IT'S THE FOOD.
OH, THANK GOD, CIVILIZATION. WHERE DO I PUT THIS?
[Man Sniffing]
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' TO ME HERE? I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
I THOUGHT WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
THIS IS TERRIBLE. WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? THIS IS THE TRUTH.
I KNOW BUSINESS IS TERRIBLE, BUT WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE...
WITH THE RECORD STORE, WITH THE PROMOTION, AND NOBODY SHOWS UP?
THIS ISN'T PERSONAL. NOBODY'S COMING IN.
FORGET PERSONAL THING. WE HAD A RELATIONSHIP.
FORGET PERSONAL. WHAT ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP?
[Artie] I FEEL LIKE A SCHLUB.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.
IT'S ME. THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING. IT'S ME.
I DID IT. IT'S MY FAULT.
WE WERE TOLD MASSIVE RADIO SUPPORT.
WE DID. WE DID MASSIVE. WE SATURATED. WE OVERSATURATED.
THAT'S WHAT IT IS. IT'S ME. I DID IT. I FUCKED UP.
I FUCKED UP THE TIMING. THAT'S ALL.
I GOT NO TIMING. I GOT NO TIMING.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO? WILL YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME?
DO ME A FAVOR. JUST KICK MY ASS, OKAY.
KICK THIS ASS FOR AMENDS, THAT'S ALL.
KICK MY ASS. ENJOY. COME ON!
I'M NOT ASKING, I'M TELLING WITH THIS. KICK MY ASS.
[Cheering]
WE'VE KEPT THEM WAITING LONG ENOUGH. LET'S DO IT TO THEM.
[Man] COME ON, MICK!
LET'S GO, MR. SHRIMPTON. ROCK 'N' ROLL!
[Yelling, Indistinct]
[Man] LET'S HAVE SOME ROCK 'N' ROLL!
ROCK 'N' ROLL! LET'S GO.
[Chattering]
THIS IS GONNA BE A HOT ONE, ISN'T IT?
IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW. THAT'S NOT AN EXIT.
THAT'S NOT AN EXIT. WE DON'T WANT AN EXIT.
THAT'S TRUE. OH, THIS WAY.
UM, WAIT. THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR, THOUGH.
LISTEN. IT REALLY DOES.
[Chanting, Cheering]
LET'S DON'T LOSE IT, THOUGH.
WHERE THE FUCK IS IAN? HE SHOULD BE HERE.
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
WE GOTTA GET TO IT SOME WAY. WE'VE BEEN ONSTAGE, RIGHT?
[Chattering]
WE'RE IN THE GROUP PLAYING TONIGHT.
YOU GO RIGHT STRAIGHT THROUGH THIS DOOR HERE,
DOWN THE HALL, TURN RIGHT, YEAH.
AND THEN THERE'S A LITTLE JOG THERE, ABOUT 30 FEET,
JOG TO THE LEFT. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT.
GO STRAIGHT AHEAD, TURN RIGHT AT THE NEXT TWO CORNERS,
AND FIRST DOOR, THERE'S A SIGN, "AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY."
OPEN THAT DOOR. THAT'S THE STAGE. YOU THINK SO?
YOU'RE AUTHORIZED. YOU'RE MUSICIANS, AREN'T YOU?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
ROCK 'N' ROLL! ROCK 'N' ROLL!
LET'S GET IT! LET'S GET IT!
THIS WAY? NO, THIS WAY.
STRAIGHT THROUGH. ROCK 'N' ROLL!
HERE WE GO. HELLO, CLEVELAND! HELLO, CLEVELAND!
YOU MUST HAVE MADE A WRONG TURN.
WE GOTTA GO ANOTHER WAY.
OTHER WAY. OTHER WAY.
[David] I HATE TO KEEP HARPING ON THIS,
BUT I THINK THE NOTION OF A BLACK ALBUM HAS CURSED US IN A WAY.
[Ian] WE'RE GETTING SOME VERY SUBSTANTIAL REPORTS OF AIRPLAY.
I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN BETTER IF THE ALBUM HAD BEEN MIXED RIGHT.
NO USE CRYING OVER THAT. OF COURSE, THAT'S TRUE.
IT JUST WASN'T... IT WAS MIXED ALL WRONG.
IT WAS MIXED WRONG? WERE YOU THERE?
[David] SHE'S HEARD THE RECORD.
OH, SO YOUR JUDGMENT IS IT WAS MIXED WRONG.
[Jeanine] YOU COULDN'T HEAR THE LYRICS.
YOU DON'T AGREE?
[Nigel] NO, I DO NOT AGREE, NO. WELL, I THINK MAYBE...
IT'S INTERESTING SHE'S BRINGING IT UP.
SHE'D LIKE TO HEAR THE VOCALS.
IT'S LIKE ME SAYING YOU'RE USING THE WRONG CONDITIONER FOR YOUR HAIR.
DON'T BE STUPID. IT LOOKS SO FRIZZY.
YOU DON'T DO HEAVY METAL IN DUBLY.
IN WHAT? IN WHAT?
[Laughing] IN DUBLY?
IN DUBLY. YOU CAN'T... SHE MEANS DOLBY, ALL RIGHT?
YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT SHE MEANS.
[David] YOU SHAN'T RECOVER FROM THIS ONE.
OH, COME ON. CAN I HAVE THE FLOOR FOR A MOMENT?
BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU.
THESE... JEANINE'S BEEN WORKING ON THESE VERY HARD.
[Jeanine] I'VE GOT NEW IDEAS FOR A NEW PRESENTATION.
THE STAGE LOOK OF THE BAND, FASHIONED AFTER THE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC.
I THOUGHT WE NEEDED A NEW PRESENTATION.
THIS IS A LOOK FOR VIV. HE'S A LIBRA. THERE'S THE YIN-YANG LOOK.
THIS IS NIGEL. HE'S CAPRICORN.
SORT OF A GOAT LOOK. GIVEN YOU A LITTLE BEARD.
IS THIS A JOKE? EXCUSE ME. IS THIS A JOKE?
[David] JUST BEAR WITH US FOR ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
THIS... I LOVE THIS. I WISH I WERE CANCER.
THAT'S ATTRACTIVE. THIS IS YOUR CRAB FACE.
GIVE IT A CHANCE. GIVE IT A CHANCE.
DAVID, WAIT, PLEASE. WAIT A MINUTE.
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT IT WILL COST...
TO DRESS UP THE BAND AS ANIMALS?
IT DON'T COST NOTHING. THEY'RE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC.
[David] IT'S A WAY TO FIGHT THE DRABS.
YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT THE DRABS.
THAT'S TRUE. I THINK MINE WOULD LOOK BETTER IN DUBLY.
[Jeanine] OH, SHUT UP!
ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE NOT QUITE OPEN-MINDED ENOUGH.
THERE ARE SOLUTIONS TO OUR PROBLEMS.
I THINK WE KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. I'VE YET TO HEAR THEM.
WE CAN TAKE A RATIONAL APPROACH.
WE CAN SAY...
I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION. LET'S HEAR YOUR SUGGESTION.
STONEHENGE. STONEHENGE.
WHAT ABOUT IT? BEST PRODUCTION VALUE WE'VE EVER HAD ON STAGE.
WE HAVEN'T GOT THE EQUIPMENT. WE HAVEN'T GOT STONEHENGE.
PLEASE. PLEASE. JUST A MOMENT.
[All Talking At Once]
NO PROBLEMS MUSICALLY. WE GO RIGHT ONSTAGE, AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.
YOU KNOW, IAN CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS.
[Ian] WE DON'T HAVE THAT PIECE OF SCENERY ANYMORE.
I KNOW, SO WE BUILD A NEW ONE, AND THIS IS IT.
CONSIDER IT DONE.
YOU'RE JUST GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT LIKE THAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE TO DESIGN IT USING THAT AS THE PLANS?
LET'S TRY. IF YOU CAN DO IT, I'LL DO THE NUMBER.
DO YOU FEEL THAT IN COLLABORATION WITH DAVID...
THAT YOU ARE AFFORDED THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF MUSICALLY...
THE WAY YOU WOULD LIKE TO?
I THINK I DO, YOU KNOW, IN MY SOLOS.
MY SOLOS ARE MY TRADEMARK.
[Cheering]
THIS LOOKS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
IT'S THE RIGHT PROPORTION.
IT'LL BE THIS COLOR, RIGHT? YEAH.
THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC. IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE THE REAL THING.
GOT IT. YEAH.
WHEN WE GET THE ACTUAL SET, WHEN WE GET THE PIECE,
IT'LL FOLLOW EXACTLY THESE SPECIFICATIONS?
I MEAN, EVEN THESE CONTOURS AND EVERYTHING?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. THE ACTUAL PIECE?
- WELL, WHEN YOU BUILD THE ACTUAL PIECE. - BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR.
WHAT? THIS IS THE PIECE.
THIS IS THE PIECE? YES.
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THIS IS IT?
THIS IS SCENERY?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO STONEHENGE?
THE TRIPTYCHS ARE 20-FEET HIGH.
YOU CAN STAND FOUR MEN UP ON THEM.
I WAS ASKED TO BUILD SOMETHING EIGHTEEN INCHES HIGH.
LOOK. THIS IS WHAT I WAS ASKED TO BUILD.
EIGHTEEN INCHES. RIGHT HERE. IT'S SPECIFIED. EIGHTEEN INCHES.
I WAS GIVEN THIS NAPKIN. FORGET THIS. FUCK THE NAPKIN!
[Nigel] IN ANCIENT TIMES...
HUNDREDS OF YEARS BEFORE THE DAWN OF HISTORY,
LIVED AN ANCIENT RACE OF PEOPLE...
THE DRUIDS.
NO ONE KNOWS WHO THEY WERE...
OR WHAT THEY WERE DOING,
BUT THEIR LEGACY REMAINS.
HEWN...
INTO THE LIVING ROCK...
OF STONEHENGE.
♪ STONEHENGE WHERE THE DEMONS DWELL ♪
♪ WHERE THE BANSHEES LIVE AND THEY DO LIVE WELL ♪
♪ STONEHENGE WHERE A MAN IS A MAN ♪
♪ AND THE CHILDREN DANCE TO THE PIPES OF PAN ♪
♪ AND YOU, MY LOVE ♪
♪ WON'T YOU TAKE MY HAND ♪
♪ WE'LL GO BACK IN TIME ♪
♪ TO THAT MYSTIC LAND ♪
♪ WHERE THE DEWDROPS CRY ♪
♪ AND THE CATS MEOW ♪
♪ I WILL TAKE YOU THERE ♪
♪ I WILL SHOW YOU HOW ♪♪
[Screams]
AND, OH, HOW THEY DANCED...
THE LITTLE CHILDREN OF STONEHENGE...
BENEATH THE HAUNTED MOON.
FOR FEAR THAT DAYBREAK...
MIGHT COME TOO SOON.
I DO NOT THINK THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THE BAND
WAS DOWN. I THINK THE PROBLEM MAY HAVE BEEN...
THAT THERE WAS A STONEHENGE MONUMENT ON THE STAGE THAT WAS IN DANGER...
OF BEING CRUSHED BY A DWARF.
ALL RIGHT, THAT TENDED TO UNDERSTATE THE HUGENESS OF THE OBJECT.
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING TOO BIG A THING OUT OF IT.
[David] MAKING A BIG THING OUT OF IT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD IDEA.
NIGEL GAVE ME A DRAWING THAT SAID 18 INCHES. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
WHETHER HE KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEET AND INCHES IS NOT MY PROBLEM.
I DO WHAT I'M TOLD. BUT YOU'RE NOT AS CONFUSED AS HIM, ARE YOU?
I MEAN, IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO BE AS CONFUSED AS NIGEL IS.
IT'S MY JOB TO DO WHAT I'M ASKED TO DO BY
THE CREATIVE ELEMENT OF THIS BAND, AND I DID.
THE AUDIENCE WERE LAUGHING. SO IT BECAME A COMEDY NUMBER.
YES, IT DID. IT FUCKING WELL DID, AND IT WAS
NOT PLEASANT TO BE PART OF THE COMEDY ONSTAGE.
BACKSTAGE, PERHAPS IT WAS VERY AMUSING.
MAYBE WE JUST FIX THE CHOREOGRAPHY, KEEP THE DWARF CLEAR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? SO THEY WON'T TROD UPON IT.
[David] I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE ISSUE. I THINK IT'S SYMPTOMATIC OF TAKING ON MORE...
THAN YOU CAN, UH, HANDLE.
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE MESSED THINGS UP, IS IT?
[David] I MEAN, THERE HAVE BEEN SOME GAPING HOLES IN THE BUSINESS END, THIS...
EXCUSE ME. THIS IS A BAND MEETING, RIGHT?
ARE YOU HERE FOR SOME REASON? [David] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. SHE'S WITH ME.
IS SHE NOW IN THE BAND? IS SHE SINGING BACKUP OR SOMETHING?
[Jeanine] I CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BAND. [David] SHE'S WITH ME.
DAVID, WHENEVER A SINGLE BUMP OR A RUFFLE COMES INTO THIS ADOLESCENT FANTASY WORLD...
YOU GUYS HAVE BUILT AROUND YOURSELF,
[David] DON'T KNOCK IT. YOU START SCREAMIN' LIKE A BUNCH OF PONCEY HAIRDRESSERS.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST A PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? IT GETS SOLVED. [Jeanine] IT DOESN'T.
YOU CAN'T LIVE IN A BUBBLE. IF IT GOT SOLVED, THAT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.
BUT IT DOESN'T GET SOLVED. I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED OUT THERE?
- WHAT GOT SOLVED TONIGHT? - FOR ONE THING THAT GOES WRONG,
ONE SINGLE THING, A HUNDRED THINGS GO RIGHT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SPEND MY TIME DOING? WHAT?
I SLEEP TWO OR THREE HOURS A NIGHT. THERE'S NO SEX AND DRUGS FOR IAN, DAVID.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO? I FIND LOST LUGGAGE. [David] YES.
I LOCATE MANDOLIN STRINGS IN THE MIDDLE OF AUSTIN. WE'VE SEEN YOU DO IT.
I "PRISE" THE RENT OUT OF THE LOCAL HEBREWS. THAT'S WHAT I DO.
[Jeanine] GET SOMEONE ELSE TO FIND LUGGAGE,
AND CONCENTRATE ON WHAT'S GOING ON ONSTAGE.
YOU'D LIKE ME TO BE ROAD MANAGER? [David] NO.
ALL BAD BLOOD ASIDE... NO. COULD WE...
WHAT DAVE IS TRYING TO SAY, IF YOU'D LET HIM GET A WORD THROUGH,
IS YOU COULD MAYBE DO WITH SOME HELP. SOME HELP?
MANAGING THE BAND. IT'S THAT CLEAR. IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMEONE ALREADY IN THE ORGANIZATION.
WE DON'T HAVE TO PAY INSURANCE. WE DON'T HAVE TO PAY EXTRA ROOM, ETCETERA.
SINCE SHE'S ALREADY HERE, SHE'S ALREADY AMONG US.
- AND SHE'S PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF TAKING OVER. - "SHE"? WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE. WHO DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT?
I WOULD NEVER HAVE DREAMED IN A MILLION
YEARS THAT IT WAS HER YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
- [David] WHY NOT? - I AM OFFERING TO HELP OUT HERE.
NO. YOU'RE NOT OFFERING TO HELP OUT. YOU'RE OFFERING TO COMANAGE THE BAND WITH ME.
- IS THAT IT? - [David] YES. IN SO MANY WORDS, THAT IS EXACTLY IT.
I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA COMANAGE WITH SOME GIRL JUST BECAUSE SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
"GIRLFRIEND," IS IT? YOU COULDN'T MANAGE A CLASSROOM FULL OF KIDS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING MANAGING A BAND. [David] WHY DON'T WE JUST...
LOOK. I... I... THIS IS MY POSITION, OKAY?
I AM NOT MANAGING IT WITH YOU OR ANY OTHER WOMAN, GOOD. RIGHT.
ESPECIALLY ONE WHO DRESSES LIKE AN AUSTRALIAN'S NIGHTMARE.
SO FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK YOU TOO.
BECAUSE I QUIT, ALL RIGHT? THAT'S IT. GOOD NIGHT.
[Exhales]
CAN I RAISE A PRACTICAL QUESTION AT THIS POINT? ARE WE GONNA DO STONEHENGE TOMORROW?
NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA FUCKING DO STONEHENGE!
OKAY, WE'RE ALL SET. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.
I GOT THE TICKETS. WE'RE ON THE 3:10 FLIGHT AT GATE 24.
AND THIS ARRIVES AT 4:00 IN COLORADO. THEN WE GOT A LIMO TO TAKE US TO THE LODGE.
[David] IT'S ABOUT A HUNDRED YARDS FROM RAINBOW TROUT STUDIO.
WHAT I'VE DONE IS TO ARRANGE A WHOLE LOAD OF CHARTS.
THIS IS SO GREAT. WE KNOW THE BAND'S SIGN IS VIRGO.
YOU SEE, SATURN'S IN THE THIRD HOUSE, AND IT'S A BIT ROCKY.
BUT BECAUSE VIRGO IS ONE OF THE MOST HIGHLY INTELLIGENT SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC,
WE'RE GONNA PULL THROUGH THIS WITH GREAT APLOMB.
YEAH. HAS SOMEONE NOT GOT ONE?
IT'S SO CLEAR, IT REALLY IS. NIGEL HASN'T GOT ONE. WE GOT PAGES FOR YOU.
[David] HE'S GOT ONE. HE'S GOT IT. HAVE A LOOK AT THIS.
THINK ABOUT WHAT A JUMBLE A TOUR BOOK USUALLY IS. HE DOESN'T WANT IT?
HE'S GOT ONE. OH, HE'S GOT ONE?
WHAT I WANT TO EXPLAIN TO YOU IS THAT DENVER...
HOW WOULD YOU CHARACTERIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVID OVER THE YEARS?
HAS IT CHANGED IN ANY WAY? NOT REALLY.
YOU KNOW, WE'VE GROWN UP, BUT REALLY IT'S NOT...
NO. NOT REALLY. WE FEEL LIKE CHILDREN MUCH OF THE TIME,
EVEN WHEN WE'RE PLAYING.
WE'RE CLOSER THAN BROTHERS, 'CAUSE BROTHERS ALWAYS FIGHT,
SORT OF, DISAGREEMENTS AND ALL THAT.
WE REALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP THAT'S WAY, WAY PAST THAT.
♪♪
[Screams] ♪♪ [Discordant Chords]
HE CAN'T PLAY THE FUCKING GUITAR ANYMORE. [Derek] YOU KNOW THE PARTS.
NO, HE DOESN'T. IF HE KNEW THE FUCKING PART, HE'D PLAY IT, WOULDN'T HE? THAT'S IT.
- ARE YOU WALKING OUT? GREAT. - JUST TELL ME WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, ALL RIGHT?
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE FUCKIN' THING, AREN'T WE?
WE HAVE NO CHOICE. WE SPENT AN HOUR AND A HALF... I'M DOING MY PART.
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE THIS A LOT SIMPLER?
I MEAN, I HATE TO CUT RIGHT TO IT HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THIS ALONE, WITHOUT SOME FUCKING ANGEL HANGING OVER YOUR HEAD?
JESUS CHRIST. THIS IS FUCKIN' ALL WE NEED.
YOU CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING WIFE.
SIMPLE AS THAT, ALL RIGHT? IT'S YOUR FUCKING WIFE. SHE'S NOT MY WIFE.
WELL, WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE IS, YOU CAN'T CONCENTRATE.
WE CAN'T FUCKING DO THE TRACK. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
NO, IT'S NOT UNBELIEVABLE AT ALL. IT ALL LEADS TO UP TO THIS.
IT ALL LEADS UP TO THIS. AM I LOSING MY FUCKING MIND? COULD YOU CHECK ME ON THIS?
AM I LOSING MY MIND? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH ANYTHING.
WE'RE VERY LUCKY, IN A SENSE, THAT WE'VE GOT TWO VISIONARIES IN THE BAND.
YOU KNOW, DAVID AND NIGEL ARE BOTH LIKE...
UH, LIKE POETS... LIKE SHELLEY OR BYRON OR PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
THEY'RE TWO TOTALLY DISTINCT TYPES OF VISIONARIES.
IT'S LIKE FIRE AND ICE, BASICALLY. MM-HMM.
I FEEL MY ROLE IN THE BAND IS TO BE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT,
KIND OF LIKE LUKEWARM WATER IN A SENSE.
I DON'T THINK WE'VE GOT TIME TO GO TO THE HOTEL.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER GO STRAIGHT TO THE BASE.
[Derek] TO THE WHAT? THE GIG.
YEAH, TO THE BASE. [Derek] TO THE CIVIC ARENA, RIGHT?
- THAT FELL THROUGH. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WAIT A SECOND. HOLD IT. DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS, AND WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE'RE GOING TO THE AIR FORCE BASE.
WHY ARE WE GOING TO AN AIR FORCE BASE? THE ORIGINAL GIG FELL THROUGH.
♪♪ [Muzak]
OH, ARE YOU LIEUTENANT HOOKSTRATTEN? HOOKSTRATTEN.
YOU ARE SPINAL "TARP"? I'M JEANINE PETTIBONE, AND THIS IS SPINAL TAP.
SPINAL TAP. MY MISTAKE. I'M BOB HOOKSTRATTEN.
WELCOME TO LINDBERGH AIR FORCE BASE.
IS THIS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO A MILITARY FACILITY?
[Band] YEAH. FINE. MAY I START BY SAYING HOW THRILLED WE ARE TO HAVE YOU HERE?
WE ARE SUCH FANS OF YOUR MUSIC AND ALL OF YOUR RECORDS.
[David] THAT'S GREAT. NOT YOURS PERSONALLY, BUT THE WHOLE GENRE OF ROCK 'N' ROLL...
AND SO MANY OF THE EXCITING THINGS HAPPENING IN MUSIC TODAY.
AND LET ME EXPLAIN A BIT ABOUT WHAT'S GOING
ON. THIS IS OUR MONTHLY "AT EASE" WEEKEND.
IT GIVES US A CHANCE TO KIND OF LET DOWN OUR
HAIR, ALTHOUGH I SEE YOU HAVE A HEAD START.
THESE HAIRCUTS WOULDN'T PASS MILITARY MUSTER, BELIEVE ME.
ALTHOUGH I SHOULDN'T TALK. MY HAIR'S GETTING A LITTLE SHAGGY TOO.
BETTER NOT GET TOO CLOSE TO YOU. THEY'LL THINK I'M PART OF THE BAND.
I'M JOKING, OF COURSE. SHALL WE GO IN, AND I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND?
[Lieutenant] WALK THIS WAY, PLEASE, RIGHT THROUGH HERE.
DID YOU EVER RUN INTO A MUSICAL GROUP... WORKS OUT OF KANSAS CITY,
CALLS THEMSELVES "FOUR JACKS AND A JILL"?
THEY'VE BEEN AT A RAMADA INN THERE FOR ABOUT
18 MONTHS. IF YOU'RE EVER IN KANSAS CITY...
AND YOU WANNA HEAR SOME GOOD MUSIC, YOU MIGHT WANNA DROP BY.
UH, I WOULD LIKE TO GET THE PLAYING ON ABOUT 1900 HOURS, IF THAT'S SATISFACTORY.
WHEN WOULD THAT BE? I MAKE IT NOW... IT'S ABOUT 1830 HOURS.
- SO, THAT'S WHAT? FIFTY HOURS? - HUNDRED AND TWENTY HOURS?
THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT 30 MINUTES, ABOUT A HALF HOUR, GIVE OR TAKE A FEW MINUTES.
I DON'T WANNA RUSH YOU. THE IDEA IS WE CAN GET IT ON AND GET IT OVER WITH.
AND I HAVE JUST ONE REQUEST. WOULD YOU PLAY A COUPLE OF SLOW NUMBERS SO I CAN DANCE?
♪ WORKING ON A SEX FARM ♪
♪ PLOWING THROUGH YOUR BEAN FIELD ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUT MY PITCHFORK ♪
♪ POKIN' YOUR HAY ♪
♪ SEX FARM WOMAN I'M GONNA MOW YOU DOWN ♪
♪ SEX FARM WOMAN I'LL RAKE AND MOW YOU DOWN ♪
- ♪ SEX FARM WOMAN ♪ - ♪ DON'T YOU SEE MY SILO RISIN' HIGH ♪
♪ HIGH, HIGH, HIGH, HIGH ♪
♪♪ [Screeching, Echoing]
♪♪ [Instrumental]
[Speaker: Female Dispatcher Over Radio, Indistinct]
[Audio Feedback]
[Speaker: Man Announcing Ball Game, Indistinct]
♪ WORKING ON A SEX FARM ♪♪ [Audio Feedback]
[Announcer Continues]
[Electric Guitar: Screeching]
[Announcer Continues]
HE TOTALLY RUINED THE GIG. HE WALKS OFF AND THEN...
HE CAN'T SIT HOME AND GET MONEYS. WE GOTTA GET SOMEONE ELSE IN THERE.
HAS HE EVER DONE THIS BEFORE? HAS HE EVER... QUIT THE BAND BEFORE? NO.
NO, BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THAT IN THE WORLD OF ROCK 'N' ROLL,
THERE ARE CERTAIN CHANGES THAT SOMETIMES OCCUR.
AND YOU'VE JUST GOT TO SORT OF ROLL WITH THEM.
YOU'VE READ... YOU SAW EXACTLY HOW MANY
PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN THIS BAND OVER THE YEARS.
THIRTY-SEVEN PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN THIS BAND OVER THE YEARS.
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE SIX MONTHS FROM NOW, I CAN'T SEE MYSELF MISSING NIGE...
ANY MORE THAN I MIGHT MISS ROSS MCLACHNESS, RONNIE PUDDING, DANNY UPUM...
OR LITTLE DANNY SCHINDLER OR ANY OF THOSE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT,
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LUMPING NIGEL IN WITH,
YOU KNOW, THESE PEOPLE YOU PLAYED WITH FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
WELL, I'M SURE I'D FEEL MUCH WORSE IF I WEREN'T UNDER HEAVY SEDATION.
BUT STILL, IN ALL, YOU GOTTA BE REALISTIC ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING.
SO WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BAND NOW?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE'S NOT COMING BACK, OR...
NO. WE SHAN'T WORK TOGETHER AGAIN.
[Chattering]
[Jeanine] OH, NO. [Derek] GREAT.
IF I TOLD HIM ONCE, I TOLD HIM A HUNDRED TIMES...
TO PUT "SPINAL TAP" FIRST AND "PUPPET SHOW" LAST.
- IT'S A MORALE BUILDER, ISN'T IT? - YOU GOT A BIG DRESSING ROOM.
WHAT? YOU GOT A BIG DRESSING ROOM.
OH, WE'VE GOT A BIGGER DRESSING ROOM THAN THE PUPPETS? THAT'S REFRESHING.
I'VE GOT SOME OF THIS MENDOCINO ROCKET FUEL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE REALLY NICE.
CAN YOU PLAY... EXCUSE ME, BUT CAN YOU PLAY A BASS LINE...
LIKE NIGEL USED TO ON "BIG BOTTOM"?
CAN YOU DOUBLE THAT? YOU RECALL THE LINES IT FITS?
OH, YEAH. YEAH, I GOT TWO HANDS HERE, AND IT'S...
[David] SO THAT'S GOOD. WE CAN PLAY THAT ONE.
HOLD IS OUT. HEAVY IS OUT.
[David] HEAVY HOLD. HEAVY HOLD. WE KNOW.
"AMERICA" WE CAN'T DO. IT'S NIGEL'S TUNE. IT'S NOT MY TUNE.
THAT'S A NICE LITTLE SET. THAT'S A COZY TEN MINUTES. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- WE GOT NOTHING TO PLAY HERE. NOTHING. - TELL YOU WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WHAT? "JAZZ ODYSSEY."
WE'RE NOT ABOUT TO DO A FREE-FORM JAZZ EXPLORATION...
IN FRONT OF A FESTIVAL CROWD.
♪♪ YOU ARE WITNESSES AT THE NEW BIRTH...
OF SPINAL TAP, MARK II.
HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR NEW DIRECTION.
♪♪
ON THE BASS IS DEREK SMALLS. HE WROTE THIS.
[People Laughing, Chattering]
[Woman] SO TONIGHT'S THE LAST SHOW OF THE TOUR. HOW'S THAT FEEL?
IS THIS, LIKE, YOUR LAST WALTZ? ARE WE TALKING THE END OF SPINAL TAP,
OR ARE YOU GONNA TRY TO MILK IT FOR A FEW MORE YEARS IN EUROPE? WHAT...
WELL, I DON'T REALLY THINK THE END...
CAN BE ASSESSED, UH,
AS OF ITSELF AS BEING THE END.
BECAUSE WHAT DOES THE END FEEL LIKE? IT'S LIKE SAYING WHEN YOU TRY...
AND EXTRAPOLATE THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
YOU SAY IF THE UNIVERSE IS INDEED INFINITE, THEN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
HOW FAR IS ALL THE WAY, AND THEN IF IT STOPS, WHAT'S STOPPIN' IT?
AND WHAT'S BEHIND WHAT'S STOPPIN' IT? WHAT'S THE END IS MY QUESTION TO YOU.
IT'S A GOOD CROWD, GOOD CROWD. IT IS, ISN'T IT?
YEAH, IT REALLY IS. I MEAN, SOME OF THESE THINGS JUST, YOU KNOW, DON'T MEAN MUCH.
IT'S HARD TO GET AT THE LAST MINUTE. YOU CAN'T ARRANGE IT OVERNIGHT.
DAVID, WE HAD A 15-YEAR RIDE, MATE.
WHO WANTS TO BE A FUCKIN' 45-YEAR-OLD ROCK 'N' ROLLER FARTING AROUND...
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE LESS THAN HALF THEIR AGE... THAT'S SO TRUE.
CRANKING OUT SOME MEDIOCRE HEAD-BANGING BULLSHIT WE'VE FORGOTTEN.
IT'S BENEATH US. WHO WANTS TO SEE THAT? THAT'S RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I MEAN, WE CAN TAKE ALL THOSE PROJECTS WE THOUGHT WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME FOR...
OH, AT LEAST DOZENS. WE DIDN'T HAVE TIME FOR 'EM BECAUSE OF TAP...
AND BRING 'EM BACK TO LIFE MAYBE.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE... AT THE LUTEN PALACE,
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT A ROCK MUSICAL BASED ON THE LIFE OF JACK THE RIPPER.
YEAH. SAUCY JACK. SAUCY JACK. NOW IS THE TIME TO DO THAT.
♪ YOU'RE A NAUGHTY ONE ♪ [Both] ♪ SAUCY JACK ♪
♪ YOU'RE A HAUGHTY ONE SAUCY JACK ♪♪
RIGHT. IT'S A FREEING UP, ISN'T IT? IT'S ALL THIS FREE TIME.
SUDDENLY, TIME IS SO ELASTIC. IT'S A GIFT. IT'S A GIFT OF FREEDOM.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO A COLLECTION OF MY ACOUSTIC NUMBERS...
WITH THE LONDON PHILHARMONIC, AS YOU KNOW.
WE'RE LUCKY. PEOPLE SHOULD BE ENVYING US. YEAH.
I ENVY US. I DO. YEAH. ME TOO.
♪♪ [Tuning]
IT'S GONNA BE FINE, ALL RIGHT?
WE'LL MAKE 'EM MISS US. [David] NICE THOUGHT.
I'M IN. I'M IN TUNE. LAST TUNING.
I THINK WE SHOULD GO. HUH? I THINK IT'S TIME TO GO, RIGHT?
READY TO GO? YEAH.
[David Speaking, Indistinct]
♪♪ [Guitar Twanging]
COME TO SEE THE SHOW?
YEAH. HI, MATE. NIGE.
SO DID YOU JUST COME HERE TO HANG AROUND BACKSTAGE LIKE A REAL ROCK 'N' ROLLER?
- IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'? - I'M REALLY A MESSENGER.
OH, A MESSENGER. YEAH. I BUMPED INTO IAN, AND...
IAN? OH, THE OTHER DEAD MAN, YEAH. [Chuckles]
SEEMS THAT "SEX FARM" IS ON THE CHARTS IN JAPAN.
SPINAL TAP'S RECORDING OF "SEX FARM." IT WAS NUMBER FIVE LAST WEEK, ACTUALLY.
AND SO HE ASKED ME...
TO ASK YOU, TAP,
IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN REFORMING...
AND DOING A TOUR IN JAPAN.
SO YOU'VE COME BACK TO RE-PLUG OUR LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS IN, IS THAT IT?
BY THE GRACE OF YOUR... BY THE STROKE OF YOUR HAND... IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO?
YOU'RE GONNA BRING US BACK TO LIFE? IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE COME HERE FOR?
NO. I'VE COME. DON'T YOU...
FUCKING NERVE YOU DISPLAY IN COM...
THAT'S JUST PASSING ON THE INFORMATION, REALLY.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S TIME TO GO IN. WE HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO DISCUSS THIS NOW. COME ON.
[David Speaking, Indistinct]
RIGHT?
[Inaudible]
DAVID?
DO A GOOD SHOW, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. OKAY.
[Clattering]
♪♪ [Electric Guitar Intro] [Crowd Cheering]
♪♪
♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD ♪
♪ BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T TOUCH 'CAUSE I COST TOO MUCH ♪
- ♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ - ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪
♪ YOU'RE SWEET BUT YOU'RE JUST FOUR FEET ♪
♪ AND YOU STILL GOT YOUR BABY TEETH ♪
♪ YOU'RE TOO YOUNG AND I'M TOO WELL HUNG ♪
♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
- ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ - ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
- [Inaudible] - [Inaudible]
[Crowd Cheering]
NIGEL TUFNEL ON LEAD GUITAR!
♪♪ [Guitar Riff]
[Speaker: Male Dispatcher Over Radio, Indistinct]
♪ YOU'RE HOT YOU TAKE ALL WE'VE GOT ♪
♪ NOT A DRY SEAT IN THE HOUSE ♪
♪ NEXT DAY WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY ♪
♪ BUT TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
- ♪ YEAH, TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪ - ♪ TONIGHT I'M GONNA ROCK YOU ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪
♪ LITTLE GIRL IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ♪
[Screeching]
♪♪ [Ends]
[Marty] DO YOU FEEL THAT PLAYING ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC...
KEEPS YOU A CHILD... THAT IS, KEEPS YOU IN A STATE OF ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT?
NO. NO. I FEEL IT'S MORE LIKE GOING TO A NATIONAL PARK OR SOMETHING,
AND THEY PRESERVE THE MOOSE.
AND THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD UP THERE ONSTAGE, IS THAT MOOSE.
SO WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING, YOU FEEL LIKE A PRESERVED MOOSE ONSTAGE? YEAH.
I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THE CLASSICS. I BELONG TO A GREAT SERIES...
IT'S CALLED "THE NAMESAKE SERIES"... OF CASSETTES.
AND THEY SEND YOU THE WORKS OF FAMOUS AUTHORS
DONE BY ACTORS WITH THE SAME LAST NAME.
SO I'VE GOT DENHOLM ELLIOTT READING T.S. ELIOT ON THIS ONE.
INTERESTING. I'VE GOT DANNY THOMAS DOING "A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES,"
BY DYLAN THOMAS, AND NEXT MONTH...
IT'S McLEAN STEVENSON READS ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON.
TREASURE ISLAND, I BELIEVE. THAT'S INTERESTING. THAT'S FASCINATING.
THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING... THERE'S SHORTER WORKS OF WASHINGTON IRVING...
READ BY SOMEONE CALLED DR. J.
OH, THAT'S JULIUS IRVING. THERE YOU GO. KEEPING WITH THE SERIES.
YOU LIKE THIS? [Marty] IT'S VERY NICE. IT LOOKS LIKE HALLOWEEN.
THIS IS MY EXACT INNER STRUCTURE DONE IN A T-SHIRT.
EXACTLY MEDICALLY ACCURATE. SEE?
SO, IN OTHER WORDS, IF WE WERE TO TAKE ALL YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD...
TAKE THEM OFF. THIS IS WHAT YOU'D SEE. IT WOULDN'T BE GREEN, THOUGH.
IT IS GREEN. SEE HOW YOUR BLOOD LOOKS BLUE?
YEAH, WELL THAT'S JUST THE VEIN, THE COLOR OF THE VEIN.
THE BLOOD IS ACTUALLY RED. OH, MAYBE IT'S NOT GREEN.
ANYWAY, THIS IS WHAT I SLEEP IN SOMETIMES.
DENIS ETON-HOGG, THE PRESIDENT OF POLYMER RECORDS,
WAS RECENTLY KNIGHTED.
WHAT WERE THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING HIS KNIGHTHOOD?
THE SPECIFIC REASON WHY HE WAS KNIGHTED WAS FOR THE FOUNDING OF HOGGWOOD,
WHICH IS A SUMMER CAMP FOR PALE YOUNG BOYS. UH-HUH.
DAVID ST. HUBBINS. I MUST ADMIT, I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYBODY WITH THAT NAME.
IT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME. WELL, HE WAS AN UNUSUAL
SAINT. HE'S NOT A VERY WELL KNOWN SAINT.
[Marty] OH, THERE ACTUALLY IS... THERE WAS A ST. HUBBINS? YES. THAT'S RIGHT. YES.
WHAT WAS HE THE SAINT OF? HE WAS THE PATRON SAINT OF QUALITY FOOTWEAR.
YOU PLAY TO, PREDOMINANTLY... PREDOMINANTLY, A WHITE AUDIENCE.
DO YOU FEEL YOUR MUSIC IS RACIST IN ANY WAY?
NO. OF COURSE NOT. NO. NOT AT ALL.
WE SAY, "LOVE YOUR BROTHER." WE DON'T SAY IT REALLY, BUT...
WE DON'T LITERALLY SAY IT. WE DON'T LITERALLY MEAN IT. NO. WE DON'T SAY IT.
NO. WE DON'T BELIEVE IT EITHER, BUT... BUT WE'RE NOT RACISTS.
THAT MESSAGE SHOULD BE CLEAR. WE'RE ANYTHING BUT RACISTS.
YOU KNOW, WE'VE GROWN MUSICALLY. YOU LISTEN TO SOME OF THE RUBBISH WE DID EARLY ON.
IT WAS STUPID. AND NOW WE'RE... YEAH.
I MEAN, A SONG LIKE "SEX FARM"... WE'RE TAKING A SOPHISTICATED VIEW...
OF THE IDEA OF SEX AND MUSIC. AND PUTTING IT ON A FARM.
IF I WERE TO ASK YOU YOUR PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE OR YOUR CREED,
WHAT WOULD THAT BE?
HAVE A GOOD TIME...
ALL THE TIME.
THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY, MARTY.
I BELIEVE VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING I READ, AND I THINK THAT...
IS WHAT MAKES ME MORE SELECTIVE THAN SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE ANYTHING.
DO YOU HAVE A PHILOSOPHY OR A CREED YOU LIVE BY?
WELL, PERSONALLY,
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK 'N' ROLL. YEAH.
IF YOU WERE TO HAVE SOMETHING WRITTEN AS YOUR EPITAPH?
"HERE LIES DAVID ST. HUBBINS"...
AND "WHY NOT?"
THAT SUMS UP YOUR LIFE? NO. IT'S THE FIRST THING I COULD THINK OF.
OH, I SEE. YEAH. IT DOESN'T SUM UP ANYTHING, REALLY.
I'M A REAL FISH NUT. I REALLY LIKE FISH.
WHAT KIND OF FISH? WELL, IN THE UNITED STATES, YOU HAVE COD.
I LIKE COD, AND I LOVE TUNA.
THOSE LITTLE CANS YOU'VE GOT HERE... TUNA FISH... I LOVE THAT.
NO BONES. YEAH.
IF YOU COULD NOT PLAY ROCK 'N' ROLL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
I'D BE A FULL-TIME DREAMER.
PROBABLY GET A BIT STUPID...
AND START TO MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF IN PUBLIC,
'CAUSE THERE WOULDN'T BE A STAGE TO GO ON.
PROBABLY WORK WITH CHILDREN.
AS LONG AS THERE'S SEX AND DRUGS, I CAN DO WITHOUT ROCK 'N' ROLL.
I SUPPOSE I COULD WORK IN A SHOP OF SOME KIND...
OR DO FREELANCE SELLING...
OF SOME SORT OF PRODUCT.
A SALESMAN? A SALESMAN, LIKE, MAYBE IN A HABERDASHER...
OR MAYBE LIKE A CHAPEAU SHOP OR SOMETHING.
YOU KNOW, "WHAT SIZE DO YOU WEAR, SIR?" AND THEN YOU ANSWER ME.
SEVEN AND A QUARTER. I THINK WE HAVE THAT.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT I COULD DO. DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE HAPPY DOING SOMETHING...
"NO. WE'RE ALL OUT. DO YOU WEAR BLACK?"
SEE, THAT SORT OF THING I THINK I COULD MUSTER UP.
DO YOU THINK YOU'D BE HAPPY DOING THAT?
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ARE THE HOURS?
[Roaring]